Trust the resistance.
I almost feel like I could stop there and say nothing more. But then again, this is a blog and you are here to read :) So let’s talk about resistance and how it holds powerful wisdom and lessons.
First, a little backstory.
Every business course I ever took - literally…every.single.one - taught me the same thing. The ABC method, otherwise known as “Always Be Closing.” Excuse me while I vom. Whether it was during the 10 years I spent in the health and fitness industry or working with various coaches after I started my own business, those “high up” in the coaching industry seemed to be saying the same thing in different words: Make it fucking happen. Don’t let them walk away from the sale. Close it. Seal the deal. Shake on it. Convince them they need it. And my personal (least) favorite: pull on their pain. It’s seriously nauseating.
I never felt good about it, but before I had Cosmic Kelsey I always worked for bosses that required I hit sales goals. I was taught to push the sale. If the client had a hesitation, push. If the client said they didn’t have the money, push. If the client said they didn’t have the time, push. I wasted SO MUCH of my precious time and energy in these exhausting, excruciating, negotiation-style conversations.
I remember one specific occasion I nearly broke down in tears telling my boss that I didn’t like this way of doing things and there had to be another way. His response has always stuck with me: “It’s not supposed to be easy.”
Why the heck am I telling you about the dirty secrets of sales in a blog about trusting resistance? Because it holds several very important nuggets of wisdom.
We are taught from a very early age to push and force and to ignore the signals from our bodies that say “hey…this isn’t right.” That’s why this ABC bullshit is still alive and well today.
We are taught that struggle and fight are normal and NECESSARY to living the life we want.
Resistance is almost always indicative that the path is not aligned or for our highest good. Resistance says, “try another way,” or “maybe this isn’t right for me at this time.”
Yesterday I read this passage from the White Light Oracle by Alana Fairchild and it hit me DEEP:
“Force is the desire to progress faster than is naturally taking place. It is a disconnection from natural rhythms and divine timing.”
This came into my life as I was responding to the 30th email in a chain of correspondence with a potential client. I took a breath. It was time to acknowledge the truth. And so I said to myself, “it is very clear that there is an abundance of desire to serve this person, but there is little to no ease.” In fact, there was SO MUCH resistance! I also acknowledged that complete ease IS indeed possible. I had plenty of recent and past evidence of people and opportunities coming into my life so effortlessly. And it was inside those sessions and moments that I was able to give and be my fullest, best self.
If you believed that ease was possible - and better yet, MEANT FOR YOU - how would you choose to operate? What are you currently trying to push or force that might actually be the Universe telling you to pivot? What evidence can you recall that shows you that ease and flow have benefitted you and others?
If it feels like there are a million road bumps. there’s probably a reason.
Trust the resistance.
